the_pennyhunter

How about my life?

Dysthymia.
God help me if I ever pass it on to anyone.


"Dysthymia is chronic long lasting form of depression sharing many characteristic symptoms of major depressive disorder (in the form of the melancholic depression subtype). However, these symptoms tend to be less severe but do fluctuate in intensity. To be diagnosed an adult must experience 2 or more of the following symptoms "for most of the day more days than not for at least 2 years":

• Feelings of hopelessness
• Insomnia or hypersomnia
• Poor concentration or difficulty making decisions
• Low energy or fatigue
• Low self-esteem
• Poor appetite or overeating"
  

In other words: you don't feel bad enough to stay in bed all day but not good enough to actually enjoy life either.
sigh.

What better lyrics to quote here than some from "runs in the family":

"my friend has problems with winter and autumn
they give him prescriptions, they shine bright lights on him
they say it's genetic, they say he can't help it
they say you can catch it - but sometimes you're born with it"

listening to someone being morning sick catapulted the topic of the last few weeks into the realms of reality. this is some deep shit and it's like I only now fully realize that.

Sweden far away
IKEA
is nearer

(not a real haiku, sorry)

Cats go, friendships develop, unwanted pregnancies I'm not supposed to know about and Michael Jackson. What the heck is going on in my life and globally?

Having to learn a Jazz standard when I'd much rather belt the lyrics of Messing With My Head into my invisible hairbrush. Le sigh.

Spring! And it IS spring!!

Pennyhunter. hmm.
I go by many different names in many different places. Usually I try not to think too hard about what name I could use because I know at some point something will pop up in my mind. The idea of including "hunter" in my name came when I listened to Ed Harcourt: "I'm a hunter who is killed by his dog".  So I had "hunter". "the hunter?" nah, that name's probably already taken. I needed something to go with it. "the silent hunter"? "the secret hunter"? "the hunted hunter"? not really.
"Penny" was eventually inspired by the song "Penny and me" when I realised that the name was also a word that would fit perfectly with hunter. I like the idea of someone who hunts pennies for a living (for whatever reason). And it fits me because I never have enough money. So there we go, The Pennyhunter.

Sometimes there's nothing better than listening to a beautiful song.


Across The Universe

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world

Sounds of laughter shades of life
are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe

Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Jai guru deva
Jai guru deva



don't believe me? listen for yourself.
http://www.myflashfetish.com/mp3-search.php?query=across+the+universe+wainwright&eng=0